Becoming Your Authentic Self: How to Begin

Becoming your authentic self is easier than you think.

Becoming your authentic self is easier than you think.

Over the last few weeks, the focus of my blogs has been on encouraging you to become and behave as your authentic self. Perhaps, I got ahead of myself. What if you desperately want to become your authentic self, but you have no idea who that is, how to discover that part of your being, or even how to do become your authentic self. How do I identify my authentic self? That is question has trumped most individuals, but it does not have to defeat you. Many people struggle with a more broad question of “who am I” and “What is my purpose?”

For the sake of this blog, we are going to focus on how one becomes their authentic self, and in the following week, I will provide insight into how one applies such findings.

First off, it is beyond CRITICAL for you to understand the following: If you do not understand this, we have a bigger issue that must be corrected before we can move forward. Without this one foundational component, we are missing the foundation to build. You must, and I mean you must understand how much you are loved Regardless if you feel loved or not. We must remember that feelings cannot be trusted because they are too irrational and fleeting, wrapped around our emotions and moods versus the truth – YOU ARE LOVED.  So many people think love is a feeling. Well, love is a choice, and I promise you are loved. Again, if you don’t feel it that’s okay, all I need from you is to believe that you are loved. It's imperative for you to remember you were also made to love. Human beings crave relationships. We are even the introvert down the hall require connection and love. Not Hollywood love, but true spiritual and empowering love. One that goes beyond logic; love that is an absolute choice, not the kind of performance earned loved.

Secondly, you might not like how you were created, designed, and assembled, but I promise you there were no mistakes. I have yet to meet an individual who from the start 100% loved their body. However, I know many people who have come to love and accept their mind, body, and spirit. While you may feel God or whatever you believe in messed up creating you, you have to understand how one of a kind, unique, amazing and terrific you genuinely are. Some of the traits you hate about yourself – and yes, some might be some ugly, tactless traits - are only opportunities where miracles and encouraging transformation can occur through you, inspiring others.

Now, that we got the foundation installed correctly, and placed the walls up, it’s time to decorate your inside through identifying how wonderfully and fearfully you were designed. I understand it; it’s more comfortable to follow the path of the "shoulds" then stepping out in bravery on your own unbeaten down path. Plus it feels as if there’s more security following the “sheep” in the world, yet most people yearn to be a sheepdog. However, to be a sheepdog we must be brave, fearless, courageous, and work hard on developing our self. That’s right; if you are unwilling to work on yourself and grow and cultivate the truth residing in you, then it’s best you stop reading now.

Since this is a multipart series, it’s essential for you to do some self-discovery while you read this blog. I wish I could tell you all the fantastic parts about you but I cannot because I don’t know you. However, my goal is for you to begin to understand how incredible you are; how unique you are; how much wisdom you hold in your heart; and how much of an expert in you, you are.


Let’s begin with some simple questions. I encourage you to take out a pen and paper out to answer the questions:


1.    What do you enjoy doing? 

It sounds like a silly question, but so many people are clueless to what they enjoy doing. No activity is too small. Write them all down, and then start paying attention to how many of the events you think you enjoy doing in a day you (a) actually enjoy doing and (b) actually do in a day.

I began writing in a journal at the age of six, and it took me until my mid-20s to realize writing is something I enjoyed. I never realized how much I enjoyed writing because people told me I was a lousy writer in grade school. I encourage you to write down what you enjoy and not what others have said you are good or bad at, but what brings you joy.


2.    What energizes you?

When you lack energy what activities refuel you? You might find this odd, but your body was designed to fulfill your life’s mission successfully. Whatever your purpose is your body was intended to complete it and will get more energy from doing such activities. You might find it hard to come down at the end of the day because the participation in such activities creates an enormous release of adrenaline for you.


3.    If you could do any job in the world, what would you do and why?

Ever since I was two years old, I have always dreamt of being an actress. As a young child, I was notorious for getting on top of our family room’s table to entertain our guest. Clearly, as a child I was fearless. I began training as an actor at the age of seven, and after years of training realized I was not any good at acting, but I yearned to be on the camera and to be famous. I kept asking myself the question, “what is really driving this dream of mine?” Well, I finally got to the bottom of it. Every time I dreamed of being a famous actress, winning awards and giving speeches, I had a parallel dream next to it. I thought if I could become a famous actress, I could do what authentically enticed me – empower, inspire, encourage, and motivate people to be their best and follow their dreams becoming their most authentic self and achieving their highest potential. My brain made me think I had to go this path to make that happen. When I found the ultimate dream after constant reflection, I eliminated the route of acting and went straight to the heart of the matter. I started to do what I always wanted to do. Inspire, empower, Encourage, give hope, and connect people to their true self.  I never understood why, if we are all one of a kind, why would we want to be like anyone else?


4.    What are your unique abilities?

What do people consider to be your talents, gifts, abilities, strengths, and characteristics that describe you? What do people count on you for?  What impression do you leave on people? Most likely, people will and have told you the same thing. Please don’t be afraid to email nine of your closest friends these questions.  Capture and highlight those moments.


5.    What are five things that bring you joy?

What do all of these things have in common? Are there similarities? Alternatively, are they completely random?


While these five question might not seem like a massive step towards becoming your authentic self, what they are doing is building and strengthening your self-awareness, which is critical for you to become and behave as your authentic self. Next week I will discuss what FREE assessments can provide insight into who you are, how to change and improve what you don’t like about yourself, as well as how to identify the weeds that are robbing you from a fruitful and prosperous life. What you are doing here is personal development work, and without a keen self-awareness, you are quite frankly a time bomb waiting to explode. However, with strong self-awareness you can begin to reach your highest potential really, but only if you are willing to do the hard work.